These questions will help you measure your intensity preferences in several key areas. When entering relationship you can compare these answers with your partner:
- How many seconds of eye-contact do you prefer in intimate conversation? Does being alone or in public make a difference?
- When someone close asks "how are you?" how do you like to respond? Do you prefer something short like: "Same old same old..." or something long: "This happened and then this happened and this happened...." Or is it feelings which matter most: "I feel rage, some excitement and generally grumpy right now." This would be how you feel right now. Do you prefer to summarize the day: "I woke up feeling scared, then when I got going I started to feel pretty good and now I'm dreading a conversation with Bill tonight."
There are so many ways to ask and answer the question "how are you?" What are your preferences, and how do you measure them?
- What percentage of the time do you prefer to tell the truth in intimate relationship?
- On a one to ten scale how passionate are you about addressing unresolved difficulties in a relationship right away?
- How present emotionally are you on a first date?
- What percentage of a ten minute monologue you are listening to can you accurately feed back to the person speaking?
- How quickly do you like to introduce affectionate touch in romantic relationships?
- How comfortable are you with the full range of your own and another's feelings expressed clearly?
- How important to you is it that your partner know what you are experiencing in each moment on a 1-10 scale?
- Does your intensity cycle have a pattern:
Start hot, run hot and burn out. Start really cold then get really hot. Start warm and stay warm. Hot/cold, hot/cold. Fairly hot with a need for unexpected breaks for a few weeks to cool down.
- Measuring each on a one to ten scale relative to people you have met, how intense do you prefer to engage emotionally, mentally and physically?
Compatibility in the area of intensity, emotionally, mentally and physically is one of the most important aspects of relational compatibility. Congratulations on knowing more about your self in this area!
Measure Your Relationship
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